Up On the Roof

Rooftop season treated you well this summer.

You consumed a record 672 Dark and Stormys. George Hamilton sent you a cease and desist letter regarding your tan. And you learned that it’s indeed possible to get an excellent night’s sleep on a rooftop pink waterbed.

So it’s time to settle down for the fall. You know, get a little grounded.

Actually, no.

Not at all.

That was a test...

Opening Saturday in SoHo is the new James Hotel Rooftop Bar, a cozy outdoor spot out to prove that the fall is no reason to descend into a windowless bunker and hibernate just yet.

Tucked into the southwestern corner of SoHo, 20 stories above Grand Street, enclosed in a warm cocoon of glass walls, this is where you will go to conduct your rooftop board meetings this autumn. Which is to say you’ll settle in on a cush light blue sofa in front of the life-size photograph of a fireplace, order up a round of Manhattans and let the sweeping views of the good parts of New York into your life for one brief evening.

The lion’s share of the space feels like a luxe atrium, wide open with no dim corners, no spots for keeping a low profile, no nooks for shady transactions or stolen moments. Which would be a problem, except...

The patio. It’s here where you’ll sequester interested parties for a private drink, escape conversations about pets and maybe take an impromptu dip in the micro-size swimming pool, which is technically restricted to hotel guests.

Again, technically.

A New Bunker of Dance and Sin

We don’t want to alarm you, but the Meatpacking District collapsed.

It was five years ago. The street caved in. Chaos ensued. Stilettos were broken. Oversized sunglasses were removed from faces.

And when the dust clouds settled, an earth-shattering discovery was made and the authorities were called.

By authorities, of course, we mean guys who turn old vaults into dance-fueled romper rooms.

Five years later…

Feast your eyes on The Bunker, the long-under-construction down-below dance room built in a circa-1840 subterranean vault, and helmed by the guy behind Warren 77 and The Beatrice Inn, soft-open now in the MPD.

After five years of reinforcing walls, building brick bars, laying down checkered dance floors and making sure the mirrored disco ball was placed just so, you are cordially invited to walk up to the iron gate sandwiched between Ara Wine Bar and Bill’s Burger, push it open, descend the grimy stairs, open a gray steel door, descend another set of stairs, walk around the bend and then pretend the world above doesn’t exist for six hours.

There’s a long bar, a few scattered tables and couches…and that checkered dance floor. Basically, not much to get in the way of what you came here to do—anything you want. Your mission will be to start in the loungey bar area with a shot and a beer, make your way to the dance floor, lose track of time, fall in love with an Eastern European hand model, fall out of love, fall back in love, head back to the loungey area, plant yourself on a couch, lose track of time again in the dim haze of a fading evening of night moves and eventually ascend when it’s time.

Hand models keep excellent time.

Chelsea's Underbelly

Fun.

Sometimes it’s hiding where you would least expect it, like the dressing room at Barneys.

But other times, the fun is right where you’d expect it to be. Like the place where Jimi Hendrix used to howl off the fire escape at three in the morning.

Introducing The Chelsea Room, a new nightclub inside the bowels of the old rock-and-roll funhouse that is the Hotel Chelsea, brought to you by one of the guys behind Montauk’s Surf Lodge, opening this Saturday.

This is the sort of room that was built for late-night dance parties on dark, wintry nights. The owners tore out everything that’s been built into the lounge over the years, and what’s left is a dim, sexy, low-ceilinged spot with exposed brick from the hotel’s original 1883 construction, oversize banquettes (more on that later) and walls decked out in art from hotel rooms upstairs.

Your move here is to show up on the late side, dig into some autumnal cocktails like the Vault (scotch and apple cider), survey the scene bubbling up around the giant banquettes—built so people can dance and sit on top of them rather than on the seats—and then get lost in a swirl of house music, rock-and-roll fashionistas and the ghosts of revelers past.

Jimi would’ve wanted it this way.

Beauty Marks

MAKEUP
• Jason Wu unveiled his collaboration with Shiseido line Supreme Aupres last night. He helped develop the “soufflé” formula for the eye shadows, which come in jewel-topped compacts.

• L’Oréal is reportedly considering making a bid for Avon, which would allow the company to increase its presence in emerging markets.

HAIR
• Ashlee Simpson-Wentz recently jumped on the pixie-cut bandwagon when she chopped off her waist-length hair and dyed it a bright blond shade.

FRAGRANCE
• Starbucks called in some perfume gurus to help develop their new line of instant coffees. Apparently taste is 95 percent olfactory and 5 percent flavor.

• Jennifer Aniston’s beauty site went live, but it seems like her fragrance is the only thing for sale so far.

HOW-TO
• Makeup artist Brett Freedman explains how to balance matte and shimmery makeup.

NAILS
• Minx is set to debut 40 new nail-art styles next month, including polka dot, flag print, and fishnet looks.

Life of the Party

Eric Daman, who has masterminded the Gossip Girl wardrobe since the show’s inception, written a Gossip Girl–themed book on personal style, and designed Gossip Girl–themed windows for Henri Bendel, is designing a line of party dresses. And he hasn’t piggybacked on Gossip Girl to market them — at least not yet! They'll be priced at a teen- and tween-friendly $50 and under, so we should probably expect lots of eager eighth-graders ponying up their babysitting dollars to look like Blair Waldorf at the prom. (Also, the fact that he’s calling them “party” dresses and not “cocktail” dresses means we’re dealing with an underage market, folks.) Anyway, the line will be sold through fast-fashion retailer Charlotte Russe, where Daman is also a creative director, starting October 24. The sad news? No clothes for boys. Way to dash our dreams of finding an affordable version of Chuck Bass’s crown-print mesh tank.

Loose Threads

• Elle fashion director Alexis Bryan Morgan is leaving after ten months to take a job at Lucky as their new executive fashion editor.

• Kanye West: “Fashion people look down on musicians. They look down on celebrities. I don't care about whether I sit on the front row — I want to see art in its purest form, before a Barneys buyer separated it out.”

• Burberry’s revenue is up 21.6 percent, thanks to sales of aviator jackets, shearling boots, and sling bags.

• L.A. vintage boutique Decades Two launched an e-commerce shop.

• Oscar de la Renta is rumored to be ill and considering retirement.

• Pierre Hardy’s shoe collaboration with the Gap hits shelves next week, but the collection has been whittled down to only one style.

• Manolo Blahnik on platform soles: “These are so vulgar — especially the ones with the perspex platforms like you see in 1970s porno films. So shocking! To friends I can say anything, so I might say: ‘Those shoes are vile!’ (I like to tell the truth in a funny way if I can), while to someone I don't know, I might say: ‘My God you look wonderful! Your dress is divine but the volume of your leg is wrong in those shoes.’”

• Heidi Klum is reportedly hosting a new show on Lifetime.

• Donna Karan is throwing a fund-raiser with First Lady Michelle Obama on Monday, and her personal chef is catering.

Mess With the Bull.......

I’ve been saying it for years: if you’re going for a drink in an underground lounge in a boutique hotel in Tribeca, there should at least be some bullfighting capes on the walls.

Finally, someone listened.

Introducing Toro, the dark, lush new hangout at the Thompson Smyth Hotel in Tribeca, opening this Wednesday to inspire carnal tendencies and serve up blood orange caipirinhas in equal measure.

It’s dark down there. And carved up into lots of nooks and crannies that are decked in rough-hewn wood, splashed with lots of red paint and protected by matador capes hanging on the walls. It’s just the kind of subterranean hideaway you’ve been wanting to descend upon for a secret, late-night autumnal rendezvous.

Drop by after 10pm and commandeer the plush, circular red bench in the heart of the lounge. You can’t miss it. It’s the one with the massive pair of bull’s horns on top. From here you and your co-conspirators of the Tribeca night will survey cavorting hotel guests, sip on infused cachaça and mingle with the collected after-parties from a dozen nearby loft parties.

And at least one rodeo.

Beauty Marks

HAIR
• Salma Hayek wore a turban to the Stella McCartney show in Paris.....WHY?

• At Lanvin, models wore their hair slicked back in wet-looking ponytails, as if they'd just been scuba diving.

NAILS
• Serena Williams, who just got her nail-tech license, is collaborating with OPI on a line of nail polishes.

SKIN
• Britney Spears seems to have (faux?) flower tattoos on her neck and collarbone.

• Bulgari is expanding its skin-care line, which has been "strangely" popular with men despite being targeted toward women.

PLASTIC SURGERY
• Shanna Moakler on her new E! reality series, Bridalplasty, in which women will compete to win plastic surgery before their weddings: “It’s cool though because there are some girls that lost their breasts to breast cancer and getting breast implants is life changing for them. So there are some good stories there, as well as some exploitative [ones].”

HOW-TO
• Sally Hershberger, pioneer of the Joan Jett shag-mullet, explains how to try the spiky-on-top, long-in-the-back hairdo seen at Jean Paul Gaultier. Don’t worry, this involves a wig.

Loose Threads

• Louis Vuitton’s sales are up so much that the luxury house plans to close its stores earlier so they don’t run out of products.

• Betsey Johnson's CEO Chantal Bacon, who has been with Betsey since the Andy Warhol days, is leaving the company.

• Cathy Horyn called the Yves Saint Laurent show "a little boring, if you really want to know."

• Lara Stone is British Vogue’s November cover girl.

• Gareth Pugh on Central Saint Martins: “Its one of those infamous place so many people have come from. Louise Wilson that teaches on the MA there always jokes that people come in to study at St. Martins expect to be sprinkled with some magic dust and made into a star designer. That’s really not how it is there. It’s very lo-fi and cramped and there’s like one sewing machine to every ten students. I had this theory when I was there that everything you want to do there is made so much harder. Even down to the incredibly unhelpful library staff to or the people that work in the fashion office.”

• Karl Lagerfeld on designers doing lower-priced "masstige" lines: “We live in the age of jeans. It’s funny for a person who has money to buy something inexpensive and it’s great for a person with not so much money to be able to get something by a designer. It’s the new snobbism.”

• Jason Wu was warned about mobs when he goes home to Taiwan for the first time since launching his business four years ago. "I was told I would have to prepare at the airport and get private security because there were going to be people following me,” said Wu. “I’m not used to that. Who am I, Victoria Beckham?"

• Kanye West mentions 21 different models in his latest single, “Christian Dior Denim Flow.” Sample lyric: “Get Olga Kurylenko, tell her I’m very single. Abbey Lee, too — I’m a freak, boo!”

• Paco Rabanne is working with Comme des Garçons to re-launch the fashion house's 1969 chain-mail bag in new materials, including stingray, horn, and glittery leather.

Luau Platters and Punch Bowls in SoHo

Say there’s a bar.

Now, this bar prides itself on concocting perfect mai tais, knows its way around a pu-pu platter and generally makes you feel like everyone around you should be wearing a coconut bra.

You would probably call this place a tiki bar.

And for the first time in a good long while, you would be wrong.

But hey, you still get a mai tai...

Here to introduce New York to the anti-tiki Hawaiian lounge is Lani Kai, an ode to Hawaii’s cocktailing and culinary delights from the owner of Pegu Club and Flatiron Lounge, opening next week in SoHo.

You probably guessed this was coming: no kitschy totems, no pink leis, no grass skirts. Which is fine. Because instead you’ll walk into two floors that feel like a tiny, classy Hawaiian paradise in SoHo: light wood floors, a long communal table, airy blue walls, a chandelier made of seashells and a fireplaced downstairs lounge perfect for your next indoor luau.

And while pork buns and fry platters may start flying out of the kitchen, stay diligently focused on the rum. It comes by the flight, in cocktails (like the house Planter’s Punch, made with raisin-infused rum) or in a little device they’re calling the punch pitcher, which is just what it sounds like: a punch bowl, but more upright.

Yes, the punch pitcher era is upon u