Emmy Madness

André Leon Talley thought the dresses at the Golden Globes were "sad." The dresses at the SAG awards, meanwhile, were "bad." Both he and Times critic Cathy Horyn found many instances of overdressing at the Oscars after that, though actresses were starting to look better. But any improvements that were made at that award show were in large part reversed at the Emmys. Horyn wrote that though some looks were startling, "this was not a risk-taking red carpet or a particularly fashionable one." Indeed most starlets looked either overdressed or misguided. January Jones looked downright uncomfortable in her frock, which had such a mind of its own we half expected it to turn into a glowing hover craft and carry the actress to an Elvis impersonator's stage in Vegas. Cathy Horyn blogs:

January Jones, in a blue Versace Atelier dress, sounds a bit flustered during her NBC fashion interview. “Yeah, it’s a definite look, I guess,” she said, tossing her head. “It’s like a piece of art. I feel like a peacock.” She then said it would be a good idea if she didn’t have to walk too far.

What's the point in getting dressed if you can't walk around? And why, when the entire world is watching you, would you wear something that makes you so nervous about just being able to stand upright and take steps without looking drunk? But she wasn't the only actress who looked like she was trying too hard. Whether Anna Paquin's Alexander McQueen gown falls into this category has been controversial, but Cathy Horyn liked it.

Horyn also liked Julianna Margulies in her navy, beaded, nicely cut L'Wren Scott gown. She wore her own shoes for comfort — that thing fashion people forget exists — and didn't weigh herself down with borrowed diamonds, which Horyn also appreciated.

I also loved Claire Danes in Armani Privé, Elisabeth Moss, and Heather Morris, all of whom seemed to understand better than most carpet walkers last night that less is more. And the so gorgeous and so stunning Christina Hendricks — who so famously wore a Christian Siriano dress that André Leon Talley compared to "roadside diner peach melba" — didn't fare much better last night. We would have liked her gown more without the lavender chicken-wing sleeves, which only helped it look like the sad cousin to her colleague January Jones's dress. But these women need not bother looking like birds when they're not pop stars and are praised for looking like women. In case they've forgotten, Vegas is a couple of towns over.

A Charmed Life

So now we know what became of Anna Wintour's ex-assistant Claiborne Swanson, who started at Vogue in April of 2008. She's a photographer! And this self-portrait is just one of the photographs you'll see in the exhibit she's hosting at Akris on Fashion's Night Out. In the time since she started at Vogue, it looks like she's gotten married, since she now goes by Claiborne Swanson Frank. Naturally, she wouldn't want to give up a name as important as Swanson, when it's on millions of TV dinners across the country. So she's been a buyer, a Vogue assistant, and is now a photographer. What a charming life. Don't you sometimes wish you could just go from one job to the next to Fashion's Night Out like her and see where life takes you?

Beauty Marks

HAIR
• Heidi Klum channels Marlene Dietrich on the cover of City magazine’s September issue. The model told "Page Six," “We had to completely hide my eyebrows and remake them to look like Marlene Dietrich! I give credit to my hair and makeup team on this one."

• Kate Moss rocks a poodle perm in French Vogue’s September issue.

FRAGRANCE
• Kim Kardashian has decided to sell her eponymous perfume through mass-market retailers like Target and Macy's as soon as her exclusive contract with Sephora comes to an end, which has made Sephora executives so angry that they're reportedly pulling Kardashian's fragrance from shelves and have canceled some of her in-store appearances.

MAKEUP
• Wal-Mart is testing a new "virtual mirror" that shows shoppers what hair dye and makeup products will look like on them. Retailers are hoping the technology will discourage shoppers from opening the products and testing them in the store.

Loose Threads

• Felipe Oliveira Baptista will reportedly be named creative director of Lacoste, succeeding Christophe Lemaire.

• L.A. boutique Kitson reportedly bought $239,437 worth of clothing from Nicole Richie’s Winter Kate line, and has yet to pay for it. Richie plans on taking legal action.

• The Bulgari ad in which Julianne Moore lounges naked with some lion cubs has been banned from display in Venice's St. Mark's Square because the mayor doesn't want naked people on billboards there.

• Jerry Hall on clogs: "I wouldn’t wear clogs. I have very, very big feet so clogs, for me, would look like little boats!" Raquel Zimmermann was also unenthusiastic: "No way, the thought of your foot not being able to bend, yeuch!"

• Jones Apparel Group Inc. signed a deal with Brian Atwood to create a contemporary shoe line. B Brian Atwood footwear will hit stores in fall 2011, and prices are expected to range from $200 to $500.

• The Gores Group recently took a majority stake in J. Mendel, marking one of the group’s first deals in the fashion and luxury sector.

• Alexander Wang denied rumors that he’s searching for a new chief executive.

• Golfer Greg Norman is launching a lifestyle collection at Macy’s next January.

• Nike has released a drawing of a sneaker they're developing that will be able to tie itself with an "automatic lacing system." Because tying shoes is such a time-suck.

• According to a poll in the New York Post New Yorkers feel "grossed out" when hosts ask them to remove their shoes at parties.

Less Is More

It occupies almost no space at all.

And yet has a bit of everything.

This is the sort of riddle wrapped in a mystery inside a tiny little curiosity/clothing/international knickknack shop that we think you need on a hot August Tuesday.

Allow us to point you in the direction of Monocle, the new storefront for the British culture, politics and design magazine of the same name, open now in the West Village.

Since we know you were wondering, it’s a grand whopping total of 188 square feet. Yet there’s room for a rotating cast of luggage, gingham button-downs from Oliver Spencer, limited-edition Woolrich jackets made from army canvas, boxer shorts, swim trunks, Comme des Garcons colognes, Swedish bicycles and a couple pieces of handmade furniture. (Very small pieces of handmade furniture.)

And while you can stop in for the obvious back issues of Monocle and Monocle-branded tote bags, the tiny space is also attempting to be one of the tiniest clubhouses in the city, where you can feel free to drop by and have a serious conversation about the burgeoning karaoke scene in Mozambique or the latest controversy in the Russian circus.

We’ll assume you’re up on all that.

The Opening Ceremony to the Fashion Olympics

Anna Wintour's second annual booze-fueled, celebrity-studded, Bloomberg-sanctioned shopfest is just around the bend (September 10 from 6 to 11 p.m.), but Vogue and the powers that be have kept the official Fashion’s Night Out schedule under top-secret wraps. Until now, that is! The FNO website is officially live, and the schedule, which'll continue to expand and evolve as the weeks go by, is even more mind-boggling than last year. (Case in point: The partial list of attendees already includes Naomi Campbell, Erin Wasson, Pharrell Williams, Jade Jagger, Donna Karan, Heidi Klum, Sean Lennon, Samuel L. Jackson, Sean Combs, Marc Jacobs, Isaac Mizrahi, Chris Benz, Mary J. Blige, Oscar de la Renta, and Jessica Simpson. Whew.)

To help you formulate a plan of attack, I combed through the events and deals being offered by more than 950 retailers, designers, and brands to bring you what are the eighteen greatest to-dos (so far, anyway), based on your overall mission for the evening (e.g. splurging on faddy merch, getting tanked, having eye sex with supermodels, etc.). I can't promise the events won't be mobbed, or that you'll get within Lomo-snapping distance of Karlie Kloss, but at least now you've got a fighting chance.

WHERE TO GO IF ... you take most of your sartorial inspiration from summer music festivals, Pitchfork, and Dazed & Confused:
• Helmut Lang's outdoor dance party, which'll be D.J.-ed by Harley Viera Newton and Cassie Coane. Cocktails from Death & Company will help loosen up the tightwads.

• Ralph Lauren's Soho shop, where neo-soul singer Janelle Monáe will perform a set hosted by André Leon Talley. Here's hoping Vogue's contributing ed attempts the Tightrope.

• Balenciaga, which is presenting a set by redheaded model/singer/wife of Jack White Karen Elson. She'll be performing songs from her debut album, The Ghost Who Walks, and maaaybe — fingers crossed — dueting with her hubby.


WHERE TO GO IF ... your love of makeup borders on haul-vlogger obsessiveness:
• Chanel, of course, who does "it" nail polishes better than anyone (Jade, Particuliere, Nouvelle Vague, need we say more?). The brand's Soho shop is giving polish junkies a first look at its forthcoming Les Khakis de Chanel collection and offering complimentary manicures.

• The Rag & Bone and 3.1 Phillip Lim Mercer Street Block Party, where makeup guru Gucci Westman will be offering mini-makeovers to FNOers. Customers who make a purchase at Phillip Lim’s store will also receive a complimentary tube of NARS' new Pure Matte lipstick.

• MAC, which is launching its Fabulous Felines Fall 2010 color collection (see — we told you cats were in!). Sarah Silverman will be at the brand’s Broadway store for a special stand-up performance (insert requisite pussy joke here).


WHERE TO GO IF...you have straight guys in tow, possibly against their will:
• Billy Reid, whose bourbon-fueled Southern rock party was one of last year's FNO highlights.

• Armani, where juiceheads of all stripes can get their pic taken with Sports Illustrated cover girl Bar Refaeli.


WHERE TO GO IF... you thrill at seeing designers and/or celebrities in potentially endearing and/or embarrassing situations:
• Barneys, hands down ground zero for fashion fans. Forget meet-and-greets — Doonan Land has Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen and Lazaro Hernandez and Jack McCollough of Proenza Schouler judging a friggin' karaoke contest; plebs playing Ping Pong doubles against fashion greats like David Neville and Marcus Wainwright of Rag & Bone, Sam Shipley and Jeff Halmos of Shipley & Halmos, and Rogan Gregory and Scott Hahn of Rogan; and Daphne Guinness looking stunning, as usual, in the Comme des Garçons fragrance section.

• Of course, if your Ping Pong-lovin' self can't get within ten blocks of the bound-to-be-swamped Barneys, try Bloomingdale’s instead: The department store is also hosting a Ping Pong play-off starring Michael Williams of A Continuous Lean, designer George McCracken, and GQ style editor Adam Rappaport. Not a bad consolation prize, especially if you consider the rest of the store's A-list lineup: Michael Kors, John Varvatos, Elie Tahari, and Iron Chef Morimoto.

• Bergdorf Goodman is hosting a doggie fashion show, with designers like Thakoon, Reem Acra, and James Mischka slated to walk the runway with their costumed canine companions. The department store is also getting in on the karaoke action with a sing-sing party hosted by photographer Patrick McMullan; Cynthia Rowley, Eugenia Kim, Nicholas Kirkwood, Nicole Richie, and Norma Kamali are just a few of the fashion insiders expected to take the stage. (Note: This comes 30 minutes before a meet-and-greet sesh with Victoria Beckham, whose hobnobbing will be soundtracked by guest DJ Brian Atwood.)


WHERE TO GO IF... you laugh in the face of credit card debt:
• Kirna Zabete, where spendthrifts can scoop up mini PS1 wallets from Proenza Schouler, exclusive wave print tops and tap pants by Thakoon, cocktail napkins from Peter Som, and owl-print scarves courtesy of Jason Wu.

• What Goes Around Comes Around, where designers Pamela Love, Melissa Akey and Beth Blake (Thread Social), and Stefan Miljanic (Gilded Age) will be mingling with guests and selling their reworked vintage pieces.

• Opening Ceremony in the Ace Hotel, which is setting up a French-style flea market in the lobby; expect to see Alexander Wang, the Mulleavy sisters, and Joseph Altuzarra all manning booths filled with exclusive merch.

• Partners and Spade, where Vena Cava's Sophie Buhai and Lisa Mayock are hosting a "fashion outsiders" party where they'll sell one-of-a-kind items created by people with no connection to the fashion industry. Participants include a police officer, a toddler, an Oklahoma farmer, some prisoners, and, awesomely, Mayock’s dad.


WHERE TO GO IF... you really care more about eating than shopping:
• The Crangi Family Project in the MPD, where Philip Crangi and the Costello Tagliapietra boys will be shucking oysters and selling limited-edition aprons and glass-beaded African necklaces.

• Lord & Taylor, which is hosting a Street Truck Face-Off. Cupcake Stop, Street Sweets, Treats Truck, and Van Leeuwen Artisan Ice Cream will each be parked on different floors; we suggest snacking after you've been through the fitting rooms.


WHERE TO GO IF... you wouldn’t dream of bumping into Anna Wintour without a perfect blowout:
• Henri Bendel, which has partnered with Frederic Fekkai and Marchesa to offer shoppers a “Red Carpet Moment Experience.” Guests will pay $75 to get their hair and makeup done by the Fekkai team; afterward, they’ll be escorted to a red carpet where The City's Olivia Palermo will be on-hand to give them posing lessons. Photographic proof included.

Loose Threads

• Karl Lagerfeld will come to New York on the first day of Fashion Week! He'll then receive the Museum at F.I.T.’s Couture Council’s special Fashion Visionary Award at Avery Fisher Hall on September 10, tickets for which began at $1,000 and have completely sold out.

• Elsewhere in the world of Karl: The designer wore white pants for a stroll in St. Tropez with arm candy Baptiste Giabiconi — the male Gisele, if you ask us — who showed off his legs in short cutoffs.

• Starting in October, Georgina Chapman and Keren Craig will have their own fashion-advice column in InStyle.

• Beyoncé is on the September cover of Self.

• The Rod Blagojevich trial revealed the former governor's taste for pricey clothing, which racked up over $40,000 in expenses during his time in office, but the Times breaks down his expenditures: tailored suits from Tom James ($18,026.27), ties from Saks ($1,700), custom shirts by Geneva ($2,500), shoes from Allen Edmonds ($1,200), and Maximilian furs from Bloomingdale's ($6,400) — which were presumably for his wife, Patti, but who knows.

• This Fashion Week, many New York designers will forgo paper invitations in favor of electronic ones that allow attendees to receive their seating assignment from airport-style kiosks rather than clipboard-wielding, frazzled publicists.

• The covers of Love's fall fashion issue star Agyness Deyn and a creepy doll, in addition to the slew of hotties that have been gradually revealed over the last several days.

• Here's another story about how man cleavage, or "heavage," is in, citing the usual suspects like Russell Brand, Ed Westwick, and Jude Law.

• Alexa Chung frolics in the woods wearing velvet and chiffon in her newly released Madewell ads.

• Ke$ha has been sporting a tiger mask to ward off paparazzi.

• Billy Reid has partnered with Levi’s on a capsule collection of men’s clothing inspired by workwear.

Second Coming of the Lambs Club

Some addresses in New York are haunted by parties past.

254 West 54th St (Studio 54), 3 East 53rd St (the Stork Club), 1472 Broadway (the Times Square ESPN Zone—so many glorious wing nights).

But almost never are those addresses reincarnated into parties present. Almost never.

Introducing the reborn Lambs Club, a new take on the legendary midtown club of old, built at the same address, and set to be your home base for deal-making, Manhattan-imbibing and glad-handing, open for power breakfasts next week and shortly thereafter for dinner and drinks.

Unlike the days when Fred Astaire and Will Rogers came to this address to sip on Old Fashioneds and debate the Q rating of rising starlets, the new spot isn’t technically a club.

Instead, what you’ll find is what happens when nightlife vets like David Rabin and booze sorcerers like Sasha Petraske get to recreate a classic—three distinct spaces for dining, drinking and cavorting, all done up deco-style in leather, dark wood, chrome and, yes, a multi-tiered tray of hard-boiled eggs on the bar for snacking.

But first you’ll start in the sleek, red leather deco restaurant, pause in front of the massive open fireplace, order a sidecar, ponder your place in history and move on past the leather-wrapped handrail to the upstairs lounge. It’s here where you’ll be tempted to linger for hours over Petraske gin martinis and encouraged to liberally mix merger talk with illegal games of chance and untoward conversation.

And when the time comes to host a more private affair, consider the Stanford White Studio, a den of dark wood and antiques that seems built for austere gentlemen of old like the Monopoly Man.

A man who preferred all his handrails wrapped in leather.

Loose Threads

• Talbots is getting rid of its signature red doors. Trudy F. Sullivan, president and chief executive officer of the brand, says “They’ve become a bit of a hindrance for attracting new customers. They see the red door — they think it’s their grandmother’s store.”

• This year, Gap is handing over sponsorship of the CFDA/Vogue Fashion Fund to J.Crew and Ann Taylor, so look for CFDA/Vogue designers to collaborate on items for those stores in the future.

• Diane Pernet on recruiting Tavi to work on her film festival: “She was great, she took the whole thing very seriously, she was extremely professional. But of course we had to talk to her parents, because, well, she is 14. In the end, we didn’t end up choosing the same film, so we’ll each have our own individual selection.”

• Steven Slater, the beer-stealing, paunch-revealing ex-flight attendant, has always wanted to design his own fashion line, according to his ex-wife, whom he met when they worked together at JCPenney.

• Macy’s is collaborating with Glee on a line of clothes inspired by the show. [Elle]

• Miss USA, Rima Fakih, will take the Miss Universe stage in a winged golden-eagle costume designed by Victoria's Secret Fashion Show costumer Martin Izquierdo.

• Opening Ceremony has collaborated with Fjallraven on a line of color-block backpacks.

• The University of Monaco is offering a Master’s Degree in luxury. According to the university, "It focuses on how the luxury industry interacts with the economic, cultural and technological environments of the twenty-first century, the characteristics of today's luxury consumer and the resonances generated by high-end goods and services."

High-end Shops Going Underground?

The MTA is hoping to lure swanky shops underground in an attempt to spruce up subway stations and bring in some extra cash. They kicked off the experiment earlier this week by unveiling GRAST, a high-end toy and clothing store at the 42nd Street and Eighth Avenue station. Somehow we have our doubts that commuters will take a break from elbowing their way through crowds to throw down money on spendy items, but if the MTA promised to put that cash toward something like air conditioning in train stations, I might reconsider.

The New "W"

Stefano Tonchi's made-over W has many more words and much more reporting than its old self. Though Times fashion critic Cathy Horyn found the fashion spreads "generally strong," she doesn't think that Tonchi's changes have separated the magazine from what's already out there. She writes that "the energized [new] logo might be the most promising thing about the magazine."

I don’t expect W to deal directly with realities like joblessness or stressed European bankers or the emerging clout of Chinese consumers, but surely there is a need to put stylishness in a new context — beyond Hollywood and art, which is Mr. Tonchi’s comfort zone.

...With a number of articles in the new W, I wondered: Why am I reading this? What’s the big picture? The Tisci profile, for one, covered all the bases, but ultimately it’s another story about a young design maverick at an old Paris house. Why does he matter and what’s changed, if anything, because of his fashion? Over all, the perspective of the magazine was small-frame. W doesn’t need more stuff to read. Rather, it needs a clearer, more authoritative reason to read it.

So, not a stellar review, but at least they have that cover of the girls about to kiss. That kind of thing always stands out.

Beauty Marks

MAKEUP
• Jenne Lombardo, M.A.C ’s executive director of Global Fashion, Talent and Special Events, is leaving the company to work on other projects, although she’ll stay on in a consulting role. Lombardo picked Lady Gaga as the face of Viva Glam, and she was also instrumental in creating the M.A.C. & Milk Fashion Week venue.

• Rimmel just launched a new foundation that promises to stay put for 25 hours, which seems like an awfully long time to go without washing your face.

• Estée Lauder is adding Age-Correcting Creme, Age-Correcting Serum, and Eye Crème to it popular Re-Nutriv franchise.

HAIR
• Model Charlotte Van Damme rocks giant hair, exaggerated eye makeup, and tinfoil accessories in this beauty editorial shot by Koen Vernimmen.

• Harrods is revamping its beauty department by opening a men’s barbershop and grooming area dubbed “the Gentlemen’s Lounge.” The section will also offer a bar and big-screen TVs, to macho it up a bit.

• Conair's new BaByliss Pro Vonar model hair dryer is made with Ferrari parts, and costs $400.