André Leon Talley on SAG Awards Red-Carpet Fashion: ‘Enough of These Bad Choices of Designer Clothing and Messy Hair’

André Leon Talley didn't have many nice things to say about the dresses actresses wore to the Golden Globes. He has even fewer nice things to say about what actresses wore to the SAG Awards. But they had it coming — it was a tragic red carpet, indeed. Last week he compared Christina Hendricks's Christian Siriano frock to a "roadside-diner peach melba." This week he gives Marion Cotillard the food treatment:

In a short white Elie Saab Haute Couture with clunky shoulder pads, Marion Cotillard looked like a Ladurée coconut macaroon reject

He might have said she looked like an upside-down whipped-cream-topped roadside-diner vanilla milkshake. But he offered more scathing critiques of other women. Such as Christina Hendricks. Again.

Christina Hendricks ... last week looked like something from a bad bridalwear special on WE tv. Her red Carolina Herrera dress with a giant bow on one shoulder continued her unfortunate streak. At the Globes, she smiled through her peach-colored disaster. This week, her look was more like, “Please don’t tear me down. I’m trying harder with less makeup, softer hair, and a slimmer gown.” My advice for this talented actress is to go to Lily et Cie for some sound advice on dressing for her body type.

Can we stop harping on this woman's figure? Okay, she's not a size 4, fashion people. Everyone gets it. But it seems like critics look at her and see a size 20 woman stuffing herself into a size 4 pleather skirt. Moving on:

Paula Patton, you, one of the most beautiful African-American actresses: What were you thinking with that strapless white froth of J. Mendl [sic]? Black Friday stampede shopping in a Jersey bridal warehouse?

And the worst dress?

Helen Mirren’s gray embellished Badgley Mischka with a cloud of smoky organza like some nightmare coverup that falls in swaths of excess fabric. Simply not the look for Dame Mirren, who was the picture of class last awards’ outing. Save that dress for a private Mardi Gras at home in New Orleans!

This the beauty of working at Vogue. You can say anything about anyone because even if you offend them they're not going to turn down a Vogue feature. And as long as everyone else is buttering up their egos, one magazine can afford to not. Someone in this business has to say how they really feel from time to time.

Enough of these bad choices of designer clothing and messy hair. Hollywood: Call me! I have some tips for you.

Or make a public plea for freelance work!!