Beauty Marks

MAKEUP

• Gucci is renewing and expanding their contract with Procter & Gamble Prestige, which means a makeup line may be in the works.

• Cosmetics exec Olivia Chantecaille claims it takes her only two minutes to do her makeup each day.

HAIR

• For Jean Paul Gaultier’s couture show, hairstylist Odile Gilbert twisted models’ hair into cornrows and pin curls and then sculpted it into mohawks mixed with feathers. “It’s a little punk, a little French cancan, but mostly it’s about elegance — and savoir-faire!”

• Beauty company Delman is releasing a line of scented hairbrushes, which smell like coconut, strawberry, grape, and lemon.

• Tinsley Mortimer reportedly got her hair done before a Sundance snowboarding lesson, but then decided to sit it out so she wouldn’t mess up her new braid.

• Diane Kruger stepped out the other night wearing a braided hairstyle that looped around her ears and turned into a bun somewhere near the back of her head.

Introducing......Helena Bonham Carter

Red-carpet fashion in America hasn't been, for a long time, about having fun. The goal was to look safe enough so that the Middle American masses find you appealing. Recently, stars have been venturing out in more fashion-forward styles such as, you know, emerald green, or one of those awesome long Jil Sander dresses. You might argue that Lady Gaga exemplifies someone who has fun with her clothes when she's in public. And we might say, there's no way being her and getting dressed five times a day can actually be more fun than it is work. Do you ever look at her in her heelless shoes and spikey straitjackets and feel a pang of maternal worry? But the great thing about being Gaga is that, since she does it all the time, she doesn't have to defend her fabulously crazy outfits. But Helena Bonham Carter, who isn't Lady Gaga and yet had one of the most memorable looks at the Golden Globes this year, has to defend her Vivienne Westwood dress, which landed her on many a worst-dressed list.

“Sometimes I get it right and I sometimes I get it wrong,” Bonham Carter, 44, tells PEOPLE. “But fashion is all about having fun. I think fashion has been hijacked by the fashion industry creating rules on what one should wear and I feel like breaking the mold and seeing that the world won’t crumble.”

...“Why not wear mismatching shoes? Who says we can’t? I was just having fun,” says Bonham Carter. “For me, fashion is all about fantasy and putting unlikely things together. That’s what I love. I genuinely love dressing up.”

No, not allowed — dressing for these events should be a tortured process involving at least one very tortured stylist with at least one very tortured assistant and at least one mildly tortured jewelry guard. People asked Bonham Carter what we can expect from her at the Oscars:

"Maybe I will wear the exact same [Vivienne Westwood] dress I wore at the Golden Globes but with matching shoes,” she says with a big laugh. “Or put the shoes on my head!”

Yes. That would feel new. A repeat on the red carpet by the same person. It's a surefire way to win "who wore it better" polls (A. Helena 1 or B. Helena 2). Besides, we loved her Globes look

Loose Threads

• Valérie Chapoulaud-Floquet has been named Louis Vuitton’s new North American president and chief executive officer.

• Jean Paul Gaultier is getting his first museum retrospective at the Montreal Museum of Fine Arts this June.

• Actress Sofia Vergara is partnering with Kmart on a capsule collection of clingy dresses and leggings.

• Tommy Ton collaborated with Justin Wu on a movie of male models lip-synching and dancing. YES.

• Sean Lennon and his model girlfriend, Charlotte Kemp Muhl, are providing the soundtrack to Rebecca Minkoff’s runway show.

• New fashion blog the Coveted is having a legal dispute with another website of the same name.

• Macy’s is expanding its contemporary offerings to lure customers under 30.

• Bulgari’s watch sales jumped 21 percent last quarter thanks to their new women's Serpenti timepiece, which launched in December.

• Coach wants to double its menswear business, and it plans to do so by offering more freestanding stores and shop-in-shops.

• GQ has announced the finalists for their annual Best New Menswear Designers in America competition, which include Patrik Ervell, Alexander Wang, and Michael Bastian.

Times: ‘Nobody Is Crabbing About Couture Being Out of Touch’

When was the last time the critics were so overjoyed with a season they could hardly stand it? Certainly not the last round of shows in New York, where the white after white looks had a lot of showgoers feeling like they may as well be in the office watching a printer with no ink cartridge spit out blank sheets. Milan was a surprisingly pleasurable experience, while Paris delivered some hits, some misses. Finally fashion people have some relief in the spring 2011 couture season, which just concluded in Paris. Cathy Horyn, the Times critic who can hardly critique without being called mean, was so excited about Armani Privé, she bothered to go backstage — which, with the crowd, might have been about as fun as walking through nineteen inches of unplowed snow and seeing a couple celebrities trudging through with you along the way — to pat Giorgio on the back.

Now, some of Mr. Armani’s creations looked straight out of the Saturday-morning TV shows of the ’60s, and the plastic saucer hats were dippy, but I give Mr. Armani credit for working with those glistening fabrics, for the sense of control over the shapes, even if the futuristic vision was a little hackneyed. He has been on this particular jag for a few seasons, and he might have received encouragement from Lady Gaga, a client. If making clothes with spherical necklines and mirrored surfaces gives him something other than beige wool crepe to focus on, I’m all for it.

She was upbeat if similarly ambivalent about John Galliano's collection for Dior, inspired by illustrator René Gruau.

It’s true that Mr. Galliano should put down the books, but trust me when I say that most of the suits and dresses in this collection would look gorgeous on someone. You have to ignore the ’50s makeup. The little airy jackets with pencil or full skirts are stunning, as were Lido feather numbers, and you won’t find colors like that anywhere nowadays.

Her praise for Jean Paul Gaultier is less mixed:

Jean Paul Gaultier, on Wednesday, was spectacular — easily his most satisfying show in years.

One of the great things about Horyn, who is aware of this rare effusion of positivity, is that her rosiest reviews usually come with a thorn or two.
The couture shows have been pretty wonderful this season. Nobody is crabbing about them being out of touch, maybe because a lot of editors just finished preseason collections and are bored to death.

Jennifer Hudson - Where You At

Beauty Marks

HAIR

• Everyone seems terribly concerned about Prince William’s receding hairline, even going so far as to claim it’s the reason why he’s marrying relatively young.

• Models wore lengthy braided extensions woven through with fabric flowers for Alexis Mabille’s couture show.

• Kate Bosworth’s curls looked particularly springy the other night, thanks to a curling iron and what must have been a lot of hairspray.

NAILS

• American Apparel is suing their nail polish manufacturers, Long Island–based Forsythe Cosmetic Group, because the bottles have been exploding on the shelves.

MAKEUP

• Faceless models apply makeup to Magdalena Frackowiak in Exhibition’s lipstick issue.

FRAGRANCE

• Halle Berry lounges around in a slouchy brown shirt in the video spot for her third scent, Reveal.

Loose Threads

• Jean Paul Gaultier's spring ads featuring Karolina Kurkova and Andrej Pejic are out.

• The launch of a French edition of Harper’s Bazaar is reportedly in the works.

• The trailer for Bill Cunningham New York, the documentary on New York Times photographer and street style pioneer Bill Cunningham, has hit the Internet.

• Cathy Horyn asked Giorgio Armani if Lady Gaga influenced his latest couture collection and he “shook his head firmly.”

• Behold: Photos of Miranda Kerr’s baby Flynn hanging out with his dad, Orlando Bloom.

• Forever 21's design practices are even sketchier than you thought.

• John Cross, the former public relations consultant at Tory Burch, has been named senior director of U.S. public relations at Jimmy Choo.

• Amy Astley didn’t actually think Teen Vogue was going to launch, so she got pregnant. "I was nine days away from giving birth — I was so fat. I had gained, like, forty pounds…I was huge! And they said, ‘We’re going to launch Teen VOGUE, and we want you to edit it.’ I literally gave birth to my second child Ingrid as the magazine was being launched."

• Village Voice columnist Michael Musto had some not-so-nice things to say about Calvin Klein and his 21-year-old boyfriend.

• Alber Elbaz, Gareth Pugh, Francisco Costa, and several other fashion luminaries are designing cakes for AnOther magazine's tenth birthday.

• Jennifer Missoni, Margherita's younger sister, is going to guest-star on a few episodes of Gossip Girl.

Kelly Osbourne Is the New Face of Madonna’s Material Girl Line

Lourdes recently blogged on the Material Girl site that the juniors' label, which she designs with her mom, Madonna, was looking for a new face to replace the brand's inaugural mug belonging to Taylor Momsen. Label reps just announced Kelly Osbourne will replace Momsen in forthcoming campaigns. Apparently, this kind of side gig doesn't present any ethical issues with the journalism she does with Joan Rivers on E!'s Fashion Police.

Tom Ford Explains How He Got a Man to Get Naked and Interview Him

Tom Ford: "I explained how when I come home I actually take off all my clothes, and I wear no clothes until I leave. I eat naked. I do everything completely naked. He said, 'That would make a great interview.' I said, 'Fine, we have to do it nude.' ... Anyway, we did the interview. The interviewer was straight, and I made it a point to desexualize the interview even though I was sitting with my legs wide open, completely naked. At the end of the interview, I put on a dressing gown and he put on his clothes, and I sat next to him on the sofa and said, 'Was that sexual?' He said, 'Absolutely not.' And I said, 'That’s because I didn’t make it sexual. Sexuality is in the eyes, it’s an expression, it’s in a look.' Then, all of a sudden, I looked at him in a very different way, and it made him very nervous."

Izabel Goulart Lands Her First Major Vogue Cover Outside of Brazil

Over the past couple of years Adriana Lima and Alessandra Ambrosio have leveraged their commercial Victoria's Secret success into even more success in the high-fashion world. Fellow Brazilian VS model Izabel Goulart is on the same trajectory, having walked in the spring 2011 Dolce & Gabbana and Givenchy shows in Milan and Paris, and then landing the spring Dolce campaign. Goulart now appears solo on the cover of Japanese Vogue's March 2011 issue, wearing spring 2011 Dolce, of course. This is her first big Vogue cover outside of the Brazilian edition.

Franca Sozzani Laments About Fashion Magazines

Have you ever been flipping casually through your French Vogue or one of your other magazines that costs more than a Forever 21 outfit (or maybe even as much as a pair of Converses) and wondered what's in a bush? Or a nipple clamp? Or random naked young girls with ample bosoms? Italian Vogue editor Franca Sozzani would probably say "not much." She writes on her blog:

For the sake of appearances, we have seen going around pictures that had very bad taste and went against all aesthetical grounds.

Why is it that the fashion magazines, the ones doing the most research, fall into out of line, worrisome, and at times vulgar traps? We have seen nudes of men and women for a while without purpose if not shocking the audience.

Sozzani goes on to reference the nude portrait Yves Saint Laurent had taken in the seventies, Helmut Newton's nudes, and Terry Richardson and Juergen Teller's work. Then she writes, "After forty years, honestly now we can say 'who cares'. We then saw religion. Terrible shoots without much sense if not being 'forward'. To what?" She then seemingly takes a dig at French Vogue, which published an editorial of heavily made-up 6-year-olds in the December issue guest-edited by Tom Ford:

How about little girls? Wearing heavy make up, sexy clothes, posing in poses that are outrageous for their age. The movie Pretty Baby with Brooke Shields talks about a baby prostitute, but without being vulgar, the images were actually romantic for the harsh reality portrayed in them.

Lets not even talk about the decadence of seeing older women posing naked. This is the question.

How far can we go trying to find new ways to create images? To disturb, make people look vulgar, pretend that what's ugly is avant-garde, negate the widely accepted aesthetics to find new things that usually lead to stupefying results, without a purpose if not pleasing few people in the business that find this cool.

The research that goes behind photography is an open road and trying to put goofy and vulgar limits is really a shame. An image doesn't have limits, it shows the creativity of a photographer and a team that works with the idea.

To find a concept and follow it with strong images is great. To make people react can help the evolution of taste, at times too standardized. Without a strong idea exasperating an image is just self-satisfaction.

If what's beautiful depends on your opinion, what's ugly just repulses you.

She's right about people mistaking ugly clothes for avant-garde clothes. I blame fashion-design competitions on reality television for a lot of that.

Loose Threads

• Another photo from Rafael Nadal's new Armani campaign is out, and it's pretty sexy, albeit rather hairy. Then again, no armpit hair would look even weirder. [InStyle]

• The mother of anorexic model Isabelle Caro has committed suicide; she reportedly suffered from severe guilt over her daughter's death two months ago. [Toronto Sun]

• More information has been released on Calypso St. Barth’s capsule collection for Target: The line will contain apparel, accessories, lingerie, candles, pillows, dinnerware, and serving pieces. Prices will range from $1.99 to $79.99, and merchandise will hit shelves on May 1.

• J.Crew has reduced sales expectations for the fourth quarter.

• The full editorial spread of Marc Jacobs in drag for Industrie magazine has come out.

• Snoop Dogg is designing a pair of sneakers for Adidas “inspired by his love of Los Angeles and the L.A. Lakers.”

• Sacha Walckhoff on his first menswear collection for Christian Lacroix: "The name, Les Garcons Migrateurs, comes from this idea of the bird travelling to the south of France in winter. For me this collection is for today's men travelling from one city to another for work and pleasure and always in need of practical, easy but also edgy and unique looks."

• Naomi Campbell stars in a commercial for her boyfriend Vladimir Doronin's swanky Moscow apartment building, "Legend of Tsvetnoy."

• Venus Williams took to the court at the Australian Open wearing a yellow latticework top and a printed skirt.

• Models like Anja Rubik, Coco Rocha, Angela Lindvall, and Alessandra Ambrosio pose with their significant others for French Vogue.

• Giles & Brother has teamed up with manufacturer Lucas Design International, marking the first time the brand has turned to an outside source for production.

• Versace has appointed Patrick McGregor, formerly the VP of PR of BCBG Max Azria Group, as director of worldwide communications and public relations.

Why I Hate Oscar

The Alexander McQueen gown Michelle Obama wore to the state dinner for Chinese president Hu Jintao this week was one of her most stunning dresses since her husband took office on a few levels. It was notably designed not by a Chinese or Chinese American designer, but a British house, paying homage to China with its vibrant red hue. The dress was an altered version of a look from Sarah Burton's first full collection for Alexander McQueen, resort 2011, with an asymmetrical neckline instead of puffy sleeves. The first lady could have worn something by Jason Wu, one of her favorite designers, who is of Taiwanese decent, or Vera Wang, of Chinese decent, who was a guest that evening. Perhaps a dress by one of them would have pacified Oscar de la Renta, who — after going on The View almost two years ago to defend what he said about one of Michelle's cardigans — is back to verbalize his disapproval.

“My understanding,” de la Renta told WWD, “is that the visit was to promote American-Chinese trade — American products in China and Chinese products in America. Why do you wear European clothes?”

De la Renta noted that Obama remains a major fashion get, with the power to boost a house’s business. “I’m not talking about my clothes, my business. I’m old, and I don’t need it. But there are a lot of young people, very talented people here who do,” he said.

But surely, if Michelle's decision to wear sleeveless garments can be viewed as the "only bracing symbol of American strength," a big, expensive, red ballgown must mean so much more then that.

Times fashion critic Cathy Horyn writes approvingly of the McQueen dress, saying that it "sent out a number of signals. Fortunately, they were not mixed." The gown reminded her "of the opulent state dinners of the Reagan era," and she thought it "had a [sic] just enough pomp to signal the importance of this state dinner." Horyn notes that Michelle "has worn black and red before — memorably, on the night her husband was elected president." That Narciso Rodriguez look also caused great debate, though the concern wasn't the dress's nationality, but how it looked. (I liked it. There.)

The Daily Beast's Robin Givhan had many more words to write about the dress than Horyn, but she too looks on it fondly, while noting that it was an "intriguing" pick because McQueen himself had "no obvious" connections to China. And because it is never enough to say, when looking at the first lady wearing clothes, that she simply looked fashionably beautiful, Givhan offers this analysis:

The red petal print, silk organza gown wasn’t so much an act of diplomacy as a broad statement about the new realities of the fashion industry. In choosing a dress from Alexander McQueen, Mrs. Obama championed the cause of artisan design, the legacy of bespoke tailoring, and the staggering creativity that can be nurtured in the frock trade when it is at its best. The sleeveless dress, with its asymmetrical neckline, was created by a house that represents the designer imagination at its most indulgent and devilish. And in wearing the gown to honor China, a country that many view with disdain for its abundance of cheap labor, counterfeit products, and poor labor practices, Mrs. Obama seemed to be recognizing the country’s inevitable place in the fashion cycle and giving it its due. Indeed, Chinese consumers represent a vast new marketplace for designer companies, and the production quality of its factories continues to improve. In short, Mrs. Obama’s choice was an optimistic celebration of all that fashion can be and it seemed to suggest that China was welcome to be a part of that vision.

Beauty Marks

FRAGRANCE
• Today in celeb fragrance news: Heidi Klum inked a deal with Coty to produce a scent called Shine, which will debut sometime in September.

HAIR
• Rick Owens slicked his models’ hair into little wings for his menswear show.

• President Obama may have dyed his hair a shade or two darker to hide his grays.

MAKEUP
• Rachel Roy wore metallic-green eyeliner and matte-red lipstick to a screening of No Strings Attached last night.

• Zooey Deschanel prances around in hot-pink eyeliner and matching lipstick during She & Him’s music video for “Don’t Look Back.”

• Gap-toothed models may be having a moment right now, but Lauren Hutton says she used to fill in the space between her two front teeth with mortician's wax.

Lady Gaga Will Play New Music at Nicola Formichetti’s First Men’s Show for Thierry Mugler

The men's shows usually don't get nearly as much attention as the women's shows, even though they're terribly fun and offer unrivaled thrills relating to short shorts, crop tops, and sparkles. But stylist Nicola Formichetti's debut as the creative director of Thierry Mugler already has good buzz, owing to quite the smart PR strategy that involves rolling out images to tease the collection in the days leading up to Wednesday's show, and because Formichetti also holds the fortuitous job title of Lady Gaga's stylist, and she will use her artistry to help his career along, as his work has done for her. Formichetti told WWD that Gaga will be the "musical director" for his show; she will reportedly premiere in the soundtrack a remix of a brand new track from her album coming out in May, which gives the week all-new meaning. Unicorn watch starts now.

Loose Threads

• Jane Pratt has placed an ad on Mediabistro looking to staff her new website, JanePratt.com, which Tavi is involved with.

• Former Bond girl Gemma Arteron has replaced Liv Tyler as the new face of G-Star.

• Anna Wintour touts Arizona Muse as "the breakout star at the Spring 2011 shows last Fall" in her February editor’s letter: "When I look at Arizona, I see shades of Linda Evangelista and Natalia Vodianova, but most of all, I see her, a gorgeous, smart grown-up. And how could anyone resist someone with that name?"

• Suzy Menkes notes that the menswear shows are unusually bright this season.

• Ermenegildo Zegna recruited Avatar’s visual consultant James Lima to create a “Live-D” presentation for his latest collection.

• Asia’s first menswear week will take place in Singapore this March.

• Brooklyn Decker: "I was always with other aspiring models. There were bingers and purgers, and everyone watched each other eat. It freaked me out. I did juice fasts and crazy diets and ended up gaining weight. My father did an intervention and got me to stop obsessing about everyone else and wrecking my body."

• Men’s shirt collars are getting smaller, which The Wall Street Journal blames on lax workplace dress codes and Mad Men.

• Eryn Brinie is closing its e-commerce site after shuttering its Soho store back in September.

• Daisy Lowe is launching a swimwear line with British chain Peacocks.

• Rather than relying on magazines for advertising, luxury brands are just starting their own online media companies filled with ads.

Harper’s Bazaar Expected to ‘War’ With Vogue to Put Kate Middleton on the Cover First

Vogue would seem like the shoo-in for the big cover "gets," as editor Anna Wintour proved when she published Michelle Obama's first big cover before all her competitors (which followed with many lovely MObama covers and stories of their own). But "Page Six" notes that Harper's Bazaar might be in a better position to land the necessary and highly coveted Kate Middleton cover first since fashion-features editor Sara Buys is married to Camilla Parker Bowles's son Tom. Bailey won't reveal anything about where the battle stands. "I'm very fortunate to be editor-in-chief of Harper's Bazaar and, as a result, have lots of people who want to be on the cover," she told the paper at a party the other night. "We're very, very fortunate to have some of the great Kates appear on our cover — Kate Winslet, Cate Blanchett. Who knows the future?"

Bazaar stylist Mary Alice Stephenson said, "There will probably be a war with Vogue, but Glenda is the woman to get Kate." We'll probably be just as intensely interested in the issue that gets her first as the issue that gets her second. But British Vogue or another British magazine will probably get to shoot her before anyone in this country, anyway.

Beauty Marks

MAKEUP
• Gwen Stefani just inked a deal to become the next face of L’Oréal Paris.

• One out of three women surveyed by the Daily Mail claimed they would not leave the house without makeup, a condition the paper dubbed “makeup agoraphobia.”

• After speculation that Bollywood actress Aishwarya Rai Bachchan had been dropped as one of L’Oréal’s global faces and replaced by Freida Pinto, the brand has announced that said rumors are “absolutely untrue.”

• Rumor: Stella McCartney may be working on a makeup collection.

HAIR
• More guys are covering up their grays these days, in order to compete with younger dudes for jobs. But rather than dyeing their hair one uniform shade, they’re letting a few natural hairs poke through in order to look more “distinguished.”

HOW-TO
•If you've come down with a winter cold, BellaSugar has some tips on how to treat that chapped skin around your nose.

Miss Piggy Plays a French Vogue Editor in the New Muppet Movie

Every Friday morning I think we're going to have a nice light day of fun bloggie items to share with you, instead of serious, industry-shattering news that will shape the very fabric of fabric. But since last month almost every Friday has been French Vogue Changes the World Day, with Carine Roitfeld departing as editor-in-chief, Emmanuelle Alt replacing her, and now Miss Piggy joining the fracas. The Muppet and fashion-world darling, who counts custom Marc Jacobs among her clothing arsenal and "moi" as her signature catchphrase — the original "bananas" — will play a French Vogue editor in the upcoming Muppet Movie coming out next year.

The film is about the world's biggest Muppet fan (played by Jason Segal) and his friends (including Amy Adams) trying to get the Muppets to reunite and perform again to save the Muppet Theatre. The Muppets have all gone their separate ways: Fozzie finds himself a member of casino band the Moopets; Animal sorts out anger-management issues at a Santa Barbara clinic; Gonzo is "a high-powered plumbing magnate"; and Miss Piggy is doing big things at French Vogue.

The role's importance cannot be discounted for Miss Piggy or the fashion industry, the ranks of which animals have clawed and hoofed to the top over the past three years at least. While the rise of the cats has been much celebrated, the rise of the pigs, and farm animals overall, is not to be discounted: Burberry designer Christopher Bailey came face-to-face with a hog in Esquire in '08, while Agyness Deyn worked with a young pretty thing in British Vogue that same year; Carine Roitfeld let CNN document her shoot with farm animals at the agricultural show two years ago; while there have been no recent reports of his relations with pigs, Karl Lagerfeld does keep barnyard animals on his farm, and even put on a celebrated baryard-inspired Chanel fashion show; and last summer Russian Vogue hired a sexy, fresh-faced piglet to model fine jewelry, with squeals of delight heard round the Internet. It all proves that the movement to return fashion to the utmost of elitism has a hard fight ahead. Could this industry be more inclusive?

Loose Threads

• Baptiste Giabiconi does the unthinkable and hides his pretty face with a new emo do in Dior’s new men's ads, shot by Karl Lagerfeld. Actually, the unthinkable is nothing new for him.

• Meadham Kirchoff, Todd Lynn, and Peter Pilotto have been named winners of the 2011 Fashion Forward Prize, which includes sponsorship for their next two runway shows and mentorship by an industry veteran.

• Giles Deacon on off-season collections: "Cruise collections are like a croissant or tagliatelle — they're the bread and butter of your wardrobe. They're becoming more and more like full collections. Customers want new products through the seasons and you have keep them wanting more. If you want to stay relevant in this industry you have to keep upping the ante."

• Prada will open two new design and research offices in Paris and Hong Kong.

• Joan Smalls landed the spring Roberto Cavalli campaign.

• Lacoste’s new creative director, Felipe Oliveira Baptista, plans "to make the brand more real and urban," and "create stories around color, create novelty and use color in a more subtle way to make it more realistic." Also, he found some softer fabrics to use.

• Target plans to open more than 100 stores in Canada by 2013.

• Newly engaged models Anja Rubik and Sasha Knezevic pose together on the cover of the new Russian Vogue.

• Authentic Brands Group LLC has acquired the intellectual property of Marilyn Monroe LLC so they can use her image on apparel, jewelry, cosmetics, and fragrances.

• Some rules of Italian style, according to The Wall Street Journal: Socks and underwear must be ironed, designer tracksuits are the only acceptable athletic wear, and there is only one proper way to tie a scarf.

Tropic Thunder

Your average dinner, cocktail or massage menu can be broken down into three main components.

The regulars. The specials. And the unnamed, unpublished, dare-not-speak-them-aloud offerings.

Today, we’d like to address your penchant for the latter.

Introducing Riff Raff’s, an absurd experiment in tiki room/nightclub crossbreeding, with a mysterious selection of outlandishly gigantic punch bowls available only to those in the know, opening tomorrow.

The space really can’t be pinned down to one style. You’ve got a neon tiger over the door. A disco ball strung up next to an ultramodern light fixture. And embroidered walls imported from a Malaysian village. But when you’re sharing a rum concoction that’s served in a life-size mannequin, it just makes sense.

Yes, they stock coconut bras and monkey hats behind the bar. Yes, plastic fruit figures to play a huge part in your night here. But before you get the wrong idea, let us assure you that this is the type of scene you’re looking for. Leggy brunettes. Identical twin DJs. Dark corners. Secret taco-filled driftwood. It’s all just the right amount of crazy.

What this results in is the kind of evening that begins with you sipping highball cocktails in a banquette and ends with you dancing to live music while drinking from a gargantuan plastic flamingo punch fountain. That’s ablaze with sparklers.

You can probably guess where the straw goes.

Loose Threads

• The preliminary schedule for New York Fashion Week has been released.

• V magazine featured a collage of Lady Gaga's fans dressed up in their little monster finest.

• Rodger Berman on his marriage: "Nothing makes your station in life more clear than when a stranger hands you a camera while he poses with your wife. But I'm proud to say I can now add amateur photographer to my growing list of secondary occupations, which also includes valet, personal assistant, and publicist. While being the husband of überstylist Rachel Zoe lets me waltz confidently into fashion shows with Rachel by my side, the VIP treatment usually stops there. Any delusions of grandeur are interrupted by the words 'Excuse me, sir, you're in my seat.'”

• Natalia Vodianova is training to run the Paris Half Marathon this March in order to raise money for her charity, the Naked Heart Foundation.

• Thanks to a crackdown from the New York City Health Department, most baristas are now required to cover their heads. This is fine for hat lovers, but those who aren’t used to the style must struggle to find their true hat identity.

• Loewe stuffed some of its bags with explosives and then blew them up for the brand’s latest promotional video.

• Terry Richardson shot Lindsey Wixson and Paolo Anchisi for Opening Ceremony’s latest look book.

• After withdrawing from Japan in 2009, Versace is making plans to open stores there again. Versace CEO Gian Giacomo Ferraris said, “In 2009, our exit was determined by a presence that was not in line with the brand's criteria, but our goal was to return soon and to play a protagonist role, with a presence in the best department stores, with appropriate collections, with the right product, and a distinctive and consistent positioning."

• Susan McGalla was named the new CEO of Wet Seal, succeeding Ed Thomas.

• Snooki makes over an 11-year-old girl in "You've Got Snooki," her web video series.

• The Row is rumored to be showing in Europe again.

Kanye West and Riccardo Tisci Spawn ‘Hard’ Album Art

Apparently Kanye West's relationship with high fashion in France, Givenchy designer Riccardo Tisci in particular right now, is so special and close that Tisci would produce this for him. It's the art from Kanye's single with Jay-Z called "H.A.M." (stands for "Hard As a Motherfucker") and includes the credit "creative direction by Riccardo Tisci." Ironically, while this imagery is about being so very hard, Tisci's last men's collection was full of things that don't feel quite as hard, like glossy silk leopard-print man-skirts, lace, and tights. Maybe he was saving it all up for this fierce-ass artistic moment.

One Dress Rachel Zoe Designed Looks a Lot Like Another Dress She Styled Once

Teen Vogue fashion news director Jane Keltner de Valle attended Rachel Zoe's fashion show this afternoon and was struck by the similarity between one of Zoe's designs and a vintage dress she styled for the magazine in 2007, credited as What Comes Around Goes Around. How big of a freak-out does this warrant for you? Kate Moss created her Topshop lines by essentially reproducing items in her closet, and no one seemed to mind.

Rumer Willis's Badgley Mischka Ads Are Out

Another day, another slew of celebrity ad campaigns: Badgley Mischka announced that Rumer Willis would be their new face back in December, and lo, here she is, wearing three different dresses from the label's spring 2011 collection. She's posing in various beachside settings, her hair wavy and blowing in the sea breezes, her facial expressions alternately rapturous, pensive, and perplexed. While she still seems like a strange choice for the brand, she does, dare we say, look quite pretty in the dresses (which aren't terribly hard to pull off, either). Stay tuned for her forthcoming ads for the brand's swimwear.

The Kardashian Kollection Will Launch at Sears in August

It comes as no surprise that the Kardashians have been cooking up yet another design collaboration, which they will tweet about and talk about and launch with great fanfare at Sears stores this summer (they might even wear the clothes, but only in public/on camera). The label, dubbed the Kardashian Kollection, will be quite extensive; according to WWD, it will feature "40 apparel pieces, 20 lingerie styles, 60 jewelry items, 30 handbags and wallets, 25 hats and gloves and 12 shoes." Says Kourtney of the partnership: "We love Sears. There is a Sears right near our house."

Emmanuelle Alt Named Editor of French Vogue

Emmanuelle Alt has been named the successor to Carine Roitfeld, who announced her departure as editor-in-chief of French Vogue right before the holidays. Alt, the magazine's fashion director, was the favored choice in the rumors leading up to the announcement and will be the second stylist in a row to helm the title. Condé Nast France president Xavier Romatet made the announcement in a press conference today, noting that in her new role, Alt will have to use ... the Internet:
"I give her full confidence to embody and lead this demanding brand and to let is live in all of its different dimensions — including digitally."

Alt begins her new job on February 1, and she says she is thrilled. Roitfeld has said she's been in the office working on the March issue.

When Is Their 15 Minutes Going To Be Up??

Snooki has signed with SRG Ventures, a firm that will help her roll out a bunch of products with her name on it. She's already collaborated on a line of slippers with Happy Feet ("she crashed our server the first time she tweeted about our products"), and a Valentine's Day pendant with DiamondShark ("She said, 'I really think we need to put an arrow through it and put some gem stones on it and bling it out,' so we did"). Next up are Snooki sunglasses, and over the following year, anything including "denim, sportswear, lingerie, handbags, personal care, beauty products, fragrances, swimwear, bedding and home goods," the Post reports. So that you can dress, smell, sleep, bathe, groom, swim, and tan just like Snooki? Huh. We didn't know she did all that.

Intel Visual Life - The Sartorialist

Loose Threads

• GQ’s February issue is an homage to the Victoria's Secret show, and the cover features Candice Swanepoel, Lindsay Ellingson, Lily Aldridge, and Erin Heatherton.

• December sales fell a bit short of expectations this year.

• Kate Foster, Juicy Couture’s vice president of global marketing and communications, has just left her position for undisclosed reasons.

• Petra Nemcova got engaged to her boyfriend of eight months, British actor Jamie Belman.

• Revlon pulled its ads from Condé Nast’s titles last year, but now the brand might reconsider.

• Crystal Renn piled on the fur and animal prints for an editorial in Muse’s most recent issue.

• Badgley Mischka just opened up a Beverly Hills flagship in the same space where Julia Roberts was refused service in Pretty Woman.

• Next Models signed a 50-year-old carpet fitter named Robert Knighton, and he's already nabbed a campaign for a major U.K. brand.

• Becky Gebhardt of Avelle, Inc., has just been named the new senior creative director of Crocs.

• The producers of The Jersey Shore are reportedly working on a new reality show filmed in a nail salon.

A French Den of Sin in the East Village

Before you know it, it’ll be 2012.

But before you know that, it’ll be spring.

And way before you know both of those, it’ll be Saturday.

Which means you’re going to need a plan.

Ideally one that involves escargots and burlesque dancers.

So consider yourself ahead of the curve with Affaire, a new tri-level, labyrinth-like French lounge that’s serving up authentic onion soup and libertine Parisian debauchery.

Like any good den of sin, this one has the weathered wood ceilings, exposed brick walls and shadowy chandelier glow of a château proper. Also, a giant illuminated poodle picture. Which can always be counted on to tie a room together.

Your night will begin upstairs, where you’ll settle into a pillow-lined banquette while waitresses armed with feather dusters deliver fall-off-the-bone Duck Leg Confit and Buffalo-Style Frog Legs. If this were brunch, now would be the time you’d collect the make-your-own-mimosa kit. Otherwise, refreshment should be gleaned via fruit-infused vodka.

And when you’ve cleared away your small plates and inhibitions, it’ll be time to head down a narrow staircase to the dual-level basement. Here’s where you’ll find booths with beds, those burlesque performances (created by an original Pussycat Doll) and a private, VIP-only exit.

Or as you call it, a door

Loose Threads

• Ralph Lauren’s nephew, Greg Lauren, is launching a luxury men's and womenswear collection this spring, and the line has already been picked up by Barneys.

• Nicole Richie, who appears on the February cover of Lucky, tapped America’s Next Top Model winner Nicole Fox to model in her spring 2011 look book for Winter Kate.

• After JWoww showed up to MTV’s New Year's Bash wearing pasties and a chain top, the network reportedly made her put on a blazer.

• Taylor Jacobsen styled the outfit Brandy wore to the New Year's Eve party at the Cosmopolitan hotel in Las Vegas.

• Macy’s is planning on hiring 725 new people over the next two years as it expands its e-commerce division.

• Ralph Lauren collects cars, not art: "You can't drive a painting," he told Vanity Fair, who featured his garage in their latest issue. The cars are organized by make and color and stored on raised platforms in a huge carpeted room.

• Contactmusic asked Roland Mouret if he was Victoria Beckham’s ghost designer. He responded,"Oh my God, that question. Politicians, movie stars, it's always the first things they want to know, and I'm like why? Why would I want to design a collection for Victoria Beckham? Yes she is a friend and yes she asks for advice and yes I told her the name of a pattern cutter, but she has lots of friends she asks for advice."

• This year’s recipient of the American Apparel and Footwear Association’s Man of the Year honor will be Mark Weber, chief executive officer of LVMH, Inc., and chairman and chief executive officer of Donna Karan International.

• Cristiano Ronaldo rented a private island in the Maldives so he and his girlfriend, Russian model Irina Shayk, could spend New Year's Eve alone.

• Sir Stuart Rose stepped down as chairman of Marks & Spencer, the U.K.’s largest clothing retailer.

• Courtney Love staged an elaborate photo shoot at her boyfriend’s house in London.

• Gene Pressman isn’t returning to Barneys.

Tom Ford’s Womenswear Hits Stores March 1

everyone can look like Beyoncé! Or at least, those of you who can afford to look like Beyoncé. Ford's first namesake ladies' items will go on sale in his Madison Avenue boutique March 1, but if you can't afford them now, Madison Avenue Spy is hopeful they'll end up on sale. Currently, the boutique — stocking menswear only — is offering 50 percent off. After all his superhyped pontifications lately, one wonders what deep thoughts Mr. Ford has on sales.

Are You Ready for Blake Lively: Chanel Purse Ambassador?

Blake Lively didn't truly feel like a fairy princess until a few months ago. So now girls everywhere know that just because you're famous, have been on the cover of Vogue twice, and the New York Times has decided your hair is as iconic as Rachel's from Friends doesn't mean you've had your Cinderella moment. For Blake, only Karl Lagerfeld by way of Anna Wintour could give her that. After Wintour introduced her to Karl, and they had dinner before the Chanel couture show last July, Karl appointed her "official ambassador" of the label's new Mademoiselle handbag. Lagerfeld describes her as "a kind of American dream girl." But what she really is, at heart, is Chanel's dream girl.

Lively related that Lagerfeld gave her a preview of the set after dinner. “I took a photo of him so that I would never forget that moment,” she said. “Never did I think six months later he would be photographing me.”

Indeed, Lively was at a loss to describe the experience of standing on that famous mirrored staircase upon which Gabrielle Chanel sent her models marching — and being photographed there by Lagerfeld.

“How did Cinderella feel when she slipped on the glass slipper? How did Snow White feel when she met her Prince Charming?,” she enthused. “A dream come true is an understatement. I can say that I feel like the happiest, luckiest girl around.”

California-born Lively said she grew up admiring Chanel and what it represents to her: “It is timeless, chic, graceful, intelligent, iconic and ever relevant.”

Well, her sincerity beats the pants off most spokesmodels'. But are you ready? Are you really ready — for this:
“Though I am the face of it, I will carry it like every girl,” Lively said of the bag. “I will always feel it’s more than just a purse. It’s a quilted case full of lipstick, love letters and the dreams and possibilities that I have always felt every time I see that beautiful ‘CC.’ ”

Every girl indeed.

Dolce & Gabbana Celebrates Perfect-Looking Men in a New Coffee-Table Book

Dolce & Gabbana Uomini (the Italian word for men) is a new coffee-table book by the designers and fashion coffee-table-book publishers extraordinaire Rizzoli. It is a celebration of men photographed by Mariano Vivanco wearing either nothing or skimpy Dolce & Gabbana briefs. Cover model André Ziehe is joined by A.J. Abualrub, Clint Mauro,Tom Warren, and a slew of fellow fabulously toned male mods. And if you buy the book, the money goes toward a good cause, "a digitization initiative undertaken by EUPLOOS to put the Uffizi Gallery’s prints and drawings online to create a complete, accessible computerized catalogue," the Ford Models blog reports. So this is a great addition to any piece of living-room furniture. In addition to being charitable, the amount of skin isn't actually that far off from your standard Victoria's Secret catalogue. And besides, your straight housemates might act like they find this disgusting, but at the end of the day we all know this is how they want to look.

Beauty Marks

FRAGRANCE

• Orlando Bloom positions himself for maximum bicep exposure in his latest ads for Hugo Boss’s new men’s fragrance, Orange.

MAKEUP

• Some shots from Dita Von Teese’s new beauty book have been released, and — shocker — it looks like the burlesque star recommends wearing red lipstick and dark sunglasses.

• Liu Wen wore paint rubbed into her hairline and thick black makeup around her eyes for an editorial in Spanish Vogue’s January issue.

HAIR

• Willow Smith tried on lots of different extensions, including a braid that’s probably taller than her, during a photo shoot for the London Sunday Times's style magazine.

• A recent survey conducted in the U.K. claims that blondes earn about $1,000 more annually than their brunette or redheaded coworkers. They probably spend the extra cash on highlights and color touch-ups, so it all evens out.

• Andre Walker, who is best known as Oprah’s hair guru, is selling “hair makeup” on QVC. The product comes in pen-size wands, which you can use to draw over gray hairs.

Cathy Horyn’s Number One Fashion Moment This Year Was Seeing Tavi at Fashion Shows

Cathy Horyn released her list of top ten memorable fashion moments for 2010, and beating out Alexander McQueen's death, Daphne Guinness's mourning outfits, and all the Tom Ford hoopla for the top spot was Tavi's appearance at fashion shows. Or maybe it's just that the list is in chronological order and Tavi was around in January. Anyway, here's what Horyn has to say about her:

I wouldn’t have picked Dior’s January couture collection as a major fashion moment (John Galliano punched an out-of-date ticket for the Gibson Girl), but the scene illustrated the tension between the weird and the wonderful that exists in fashion. Dior held the show in the house, so everything was creamy with intimacy — just what editors love as they plop down next to friends — but it soon registered that Tavi Gevinson, the 13-year-old blogger, was in the front row. Some of the editors really hit her with looks. At the Armani show that night, the stares were openly hostile. It was obvious the older Italian ladies didn’t care to see a child in their midst. And Tavi wore a big bow-shaped hat that pointedly emphasized her juvenile stature. The fact is half the people were still in the dark about what was happening. Blogs? Strange ruminations from a girl’s bedroom in Chicago? They were still politely applauding satin ball gowns that Charles James would have whipped up in his sleep at the Chelsea Hotel.

Changing times, these.

Wal-Mart Will Invade Brooklyn Come Hell, High Water, or Lack of Parking Lot Space

Wal-Mart has been trying to nail down a New York City location for years, and they're so desperate for one now that they're even willing to be flexible about the bare minimum square footage they usually require for stacking mountains of toilet-paper packs and car-size boxes of Cheerios. Why, you might ask, do we need a Wal-Mart in New York City? None of us have cars to transport bulk-size items, nor do we have enough room in our apartments to keep them. And we'd never go there for cheap clothes when there are Forever 21's popping up everywhere we turn.

Well, Wal-Mart is undeterred by our lack of interest. Having "saturated" the suburbs, WWD reports, they must now break into urban markets if they are to continue growing in the U.S. There are dozens of Wal-Marts right outside of New York City, where city residents spend $165 million annually. In order to chase after these customers, the company is planning to launch a bunch of much smaller "Neighborhood" stores in urban areas around the country, including one in Spring Creek, Brooklyn.

City Council speaker Christine Quinn is strongly opposed to the idea, however: "Wal-Mart is still the company with the worst record on gender discrimination lawsuits. Their labor practices are in no way near the standards we have in New York City," she explained. Wal-Mart director Steven Restivo argued that they "have a very similar business model" to Target, which has locations in Queens, Brooklyn, Harlem, and the Bronx. A hearing to discuss the proposed Wal-Mart store will be held on January 12.

Loose Threads

• Online shopping for the first 56 days of November and December set a new spending record of $30.81 billion.

• Tutus, feathers, and cobwebby knits are gaining momentum, thanks to Black Swan.

• Textile magnate Roger Milliken died yesterday at age 95.

• Memphis middle-school principal Bobby White found a creative punishment for students who wear saggy pants: He hikes them up, Urkel-style, and then photographs the kids for the school’s wall of shame.
• Queen Elizabeth is dishing out OBE's and MBE's to several fashion folks this year, including British designer Alice Temperley.

• Owen Wilson wants Lady Gaga to appear in Zoolander 2.

• Breaking News: Vinny from Jersey Shore is launching a T-shirt line.

Kim Kardashian Has Cornrows Now, Inexplicably

Kim Kardashian tweeted Wednesday, "Ok just took a quick nap and woke up with a whole new look! Love the glam squad!" This "new look" was apparently cornrow braids, which she debuted at the gym yesterday. No word on why exactly she got them, but it might have something to do with her music video, which she's rumored to be shooting now with Kanye West.